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January 07 Account Hacked !!!!!!!!!!!!!!My hotmail account has been hijacked so I will stop using this account and plan to migrate my blog to my new hotmail account. Please keep in touch. You can contact me at the following address: feng.zhang.1976@hotmail.com feng.zhang.1976@gmail.com Thanks Feng January 02 展望 2008总结了 2007，来展望一下 2008，给自己定个目标。
工作：
1. 争取去读一个 top 10 的兼职 MBA，开阔自己的眼界，同时给自己补一补商业管理上的基础知识。
2. 继续把工作做好，在工作中不断提高自己。尤其是自己的 Soft Skill，提高 Leadership。待人处事要更成熟，更 Respectful，更有 Empathy。
3. 培养自己的 Network。
家庭：
1. 希望宝宝能健康的出生，快乐的成长。
2. 希望老婆能换一份工作，搬到同一个城市住，再买个大房子，结束两地分居。
健康：
1. 每天早上要喝牛奶，吃早餐。
2. 一周至少去一次 Gym。
财富：
1. 还是我的 Benchmark, 争取 >20% return。
修身：
1. 多看书，至少有三类书可看：a) 中国传统文化 b) 工作上的提高 c) 投资。 有空在网上多看有营养的文章，少看没营养的八卦。
2. Golf in 100，争取进 90。 不过如果去读书的话，那 Golf 可能只能先放一放了。
December 20 A summary of 2007
Another year close to the end, it’s my 7th year in the States. Want to write down a summary of several key aspects of my life in the passing 2007, before I start to think about my goals in 2008.
Career:
· Assessment - 80/100 · Delivered good results on all projects I worked on; unfortunately the company was struggling (stock from $90 to $45) just as the whole Financial Service industry. Can’t be very happy if we are losing. · Responsibility has grown steadily; start to be a people manager · Led a new strategy development taking a customer centered innovation approach, which was very different from the traditional COF analytically heavy approach. Good learning in customer focused innovation, as well as managing a pretty big project team. · I didn’t make good improvement on my soft skills. My working style was still the very straightforward / forceful one that was natural for me. This is my major developmental opportunity.
Family:
· Assessment - 90/100 · Expect to be a farther soon. Our baby comes probably 6 months earlier than we originally planned, but really no complaints. We are happy Daddy-and-Mommy-To-Be · Bought a condo for my parents in China. All the past 30 years, it has all been them giving everything they had to their kids, now I am starting to fulfill my responsibility to them as a son. I am very happy that I can make their retired life more comfortable. They have always been very pride of me and this makes me feel that I didn’t disappoint them. · Still live apart from my wife, what a pain.
Wealth:
· Assessment - 95/100 · The condo we bought early this year has appreciated probably 50%. I won’t sell it unless I can buy a better one for my parents anyway ( I hope there will be such a day ). So all the short term appreciation doesn’t really mean much for me. But hadn’t I bought it early, I wouldn’t have enough money to but it for them now. Plus, I wouldn’t dare to buy any real estate in today’s market given the bubbles in China. · My investment in stock market has done well till Oct. Lately it lost 25%. Overall, I am probably still 30% up for the year. No comparison to some folks who made several hundreds percent gains in the crazy Chinese market, but I am very happy with achieving my benchmark: beating the market, and >20% return. · Wife started to work end of last year, the days that we can get tax refund from Uncle Sam is gone. A good thing though, I hope I can pay more and more tax to Uncle Sam in the future.... :P
Health:
· Assessment – 80/100 · Couldn’t keep up with Gym exercise with Work, Family and Golf. Health condition is OK.
Others:
· Assessment – 60/100 · My golf score sucks. I set a goal of breaking 90 at the beginning of the year, I only managed to break 100 once. So it was not even close to my goal. I do feel I have come a long way and now have a good understanding of golf swing; otherwise, I wouldn’t even give myself 60 in this category. · Almost didn’t spend any time on other hobbies such as tennis, ski etc. · Still not reading enough books, I probably read 3-4 books the whole year, less than the 10 books mark I set at the beginning of the year.
December 04 Broke 100 and first BirdyBroke 100 the first time and got my first Birdy in Poplar Grove Golf Course near Lynchburg, VA.
One birdy, three pars and many Bogey and Double Bogey. It's a good milestone in my golf. I still didn't feel comfortable with my swing, but my putting has improved.
Wife shot some swing video of mine, it looked pretty bad. I think I've found two major problems in my swing:
1) shoulder too tight
2) swing plane too flat
I am going to work on it. Hope for a warm winter.
Worth a celebration ! Way to Go ! October 31 It's a little Girl !盼这天盼了好久，上周五终于真相大白，是个小女孩。时间过得好快，从知道怀孕到现在，一转眼4个月了，再一转眼，小孩子就要出来啦，^_^
我原想是个男孩的，呵呵，可能因为我们家我老爸他们兄弟，还有我堂哥都是先有的男孩。女孩说实话俺和老婆都不大知道怎么教育，不过女孩好，和爸爸亲，haha， 俺就怕她将来被我宠坏咯。俺的理想是一男一女，先来哪个也无所谓。下次就有压力了，我估计每多生一个孩子，我就得晚5年退休。我可不想有三个，为他们工作到60岁啊。呵呵
小老鼠还没出来，俺和老婆已经给她计划了一个学习清单了。呵呵，幸福又可怜的小老鼠
1. 游泳，这个是 No. 1，她喜欢不喜欢都得学。锻炼身体又长身高。牛肉＋牛奶＋游泳，小老鼠长到 1.65m 应该没一点问题。俺可以带她入门。
2. Golf，这个俺从 30 岁开始学，不容易啊。俺 team 里一个美国小孩，说从 7 岁开始打，现在是 2+ 的水平。俺孩子就算将来不做 Pro，也得轻松打 Signle Digit。有天赋有兴趣的话，老爸把退休金都拿出来送你去做 Pro。这个俺可以带她入门，两岁上练习场，五岁上场。
3. 桥牌或者围棋，开发智力，以后一家人可以凑一桌桥牌，呵呵。这个俺也可以带她入门。
4. 学一样乐器，这个俺是一窍不通的，她老妈比我强那么一点（认识五线谱，对弹琴有点兴趣，呵呵）。所以这个可能比较 challenging，不过女孩子总是要懂一点音乐的好。
5. 书法或国画，中国传统文化的精髓，俺从小有兴趣，可惜没有条件学。只有寄希望给下一代了。这个也不容易，得找老师带她入门。
6. 网球，健康的户外运动，锻炼身体。这个俺也可以带她入门
暂时那么几个必学的。其他我会玩的，都可以带她入门， 比如滑雪，溜冰。应该够她学的了吧？看看她对哪个最有兴趣，能玩到什么样的水平，呵呵
那天和老婆商量这个，
老鼠她妈：你花那么多心血，她将来要是嫁了个女婿你看不上眼的，那不气死你？
老鼠她爸：说得有道理，不过学得多了，档次总要高一点吧？当年你要是会这个 list 上的一半，可能看得上俺这个农民嘛？haha
Blue Ridge Pkwy 秋游
好久没用的相机和镜头拿出来试了试，发现几个镜头和 B+W 的 Polarizer 还是比较牛的，没什么技巧，大白天的，拍出来也还可以看。这几天准备有空研究一下 PhotoShop， 以后多拍拍片子，上网去搞个 Album。 Blue Ridge Pkwy 的 Abott Lake，风景如画，下午两点。第二幅的阳光从左边过来，用了Polarizer后左右天空差别有点太大，以后试试影响小一点的 Polarizer 角度。没有调 Saturation，17-40 的色彩比狗头还是强太多了。 (Canon 17-40L, B+W Polarizer) Pkwy 和 James River 交界处， 黄昏。(Canon 17-40L, B+W Polarizer) Hiking 小道边，一叶知秋，下午三点。 (Canon 70-300 IS) October 25 Got my GC todayI knew my 485 was approved last weekend when I checked status online. I was more excited than I had expected.
GC was never a priority for me, since I always wanted to go back to China. GC application really didn't play any role in my career or life decisions in the past 5 years. I guess I was quite lucky since it just come almost effortless for me. I am happy with it because it gives me and my wife more freedom and security to move around. Especially at a time when my company's future is quite uncertain and my wife and I are still living apart.
However, my wife's case is still in progress. Hope it didn't get a name check. But anyway, I got mine, and she has EAD that can help her find a new job. That's enough for us.
Worth a celebration! :)
October 18 Virginia Winery Tour今天公司 team 的 fun day，去 Charttesville 的两个 Vineyards 做 Winery Tour.
Virginia 的十月，天高气爽，坐在蓝天白云绿树下，远处是连绵的葡萄树和青山，心情也豁然开敞。一边品酒，一边禁不住的和磐同学感叹： 什么时候能够有足够的财富，退休了找个乡下地方开个小小的 Vineyards， 不求赚钱，只求做点自己喜欢的事，那真是理想的生活啊。这个恐怕一定要自己做才有可能，给人打工，再成功都不够的。
写倒这里，不自禁的想到了以前看过的一个笑话，大意是一个渔民在海边打鱼，碰到了一个 McKinsey 的 Consultant，给他出了一堆主意，说该怎样怎样把打鱼这个事业一直做到上市为止，就可以赚一大笔钱。渔民问他，然后又怎么样呢，Consultant 说然后你就可以整天的躺在沙滩上晒太阳，想出海就出海，想打鱼就打鱼。渔民说我现在不已经是这样了吗？何必再去折腾几十年，去追求我已经拥有的东西呢？
有道理啊，人生苦短，人不能为明天活着，每一天过得有意义，快乐才是最重要的。好，就写到这儿，去练 Golf 了，哈哈
顺便要记一下，今天来去都是坐的 Limo，是农民的第一次，呵呵，也算是坐过了 Limo 。还有，今天回家一看，股票涨了 10%，最近香港股市真是疯狂。 October 15 Still wasting too much time on non sense Chinese newsI am reading them only in weekend, that's some progress made since about two months back. However, I am spending a lot of time reading these non sense Chinese news from Friday night to Sunday night.
I think what is in play here is my mental laziness. There are so many things on the world that I can learn, and I know I would be interested in learning !!! It's just that my mental laziness is stopping me from getting started on them. Just to name a few of things that I would want to do, and there are many many more:
1. I can practice caligraphy / photography ( the $2000+ Canon lens I bought a year ago has been used only <3 times and been collecting dust the rest of the time ... I have given up practicing caligraphy since about a year ago when I picked up Golf as my new passion .... )
2. I can learn more fundamentals in modern economy, which always interests me
3. I can improve my investment knowledge, research stocks / funds. To be a better invester !
4. I can read good novels, watch good movies
5. I can read books to help me be a better marketing professional in financial service industry, and better prepare myself for future career challenges.
Any of these would be a much better way, more meaningful way of spending my time. Why on the hell wasting my time doing non sense things and regret in retrospect ???
Be mentally diligent !!!
Ok, here is what I am going to do:
Going forward, I will spend less than 2 hours Friday night and 1 hour Sunday to browse Chinese forums. No Chinese news browsing beyond these. And I am going to pick some of the things above to spend my after work time.
October 10 Progress in GolfJust want to write done the learning process I am having with my Golf. I will continue to update this thread.
11/04/07:
I am hitting descending blow on my iron shots, it feels pretty good.
I now realize the key is, by doing wrist cock early, and keep my hands not too close to my body in the take away, I am make my swing plane more vertical, thus encouraging more descending blow.
Another thing I paid attention to was
10/30/07:
I am learning Enie Els's swing, in take away, start wrist cock early. I found it's more natural for me. I am still trying to find the slot, most time when I feel comfortable with my take away, my swing is good. Some time my take away is still awkward for me, and then my swing is off. But it feels to me this is working for me. I hit some balls on range today, it's not bad. I was hitting descending blow on most of iron shots.
10/14/07:
My swing feeling is gone completely suddenly. I played a round in Ivy Hill yesterday, it was aweful, I probably hit only one solid iron shot. Today I went to driving range, it was as bad as yesterday. Not sure what's happening, I just don't feel comfortable with my back swing any more. It seems that my takeaway is too inside.
Anyway, I booked a lesson with the Pro in the range next Saturday.
People say progress in golf is always back and forth. Let's see when I can get into the forward gear again.
10/09/07:
Realized the importance of keeping my right heel stick to the ground at the moment of ball striking. In the past my right heel was way off the ground when I hit the ball, what it really means is my head was moving to the left side as I shift my weight to the left side in the downswing. That's a real killer of consistency. By keeping my right heel stick to the ground, I forced my head to stay behind the ball while getting my hip turn and shift left in the downswing. I hit some of my best 7,8,9 iron shots in the last two practice sessions on the range by just fixing this problem. ( in fact, I am not even sure if I have completely solved the problem, but the improvement I got was amazing already. I am going to take some video this weekend to how far away I am from fixing the problem completely. ) 08/19/07:
Learned one plane VS two plane swing theories online. I am a one planner. Understanding the theory helped me get my swing fundmental right. At least I am one step further in understanding what is the right swing to mimic. Of course, knowing what is the right swing is very different from creating the right swing myself, the latter requires a lot of body flexibiliby and strength.
Fixed my setup posture with suggestion from an instructor, my posture was way too upright.
September 25 Thoughts on Team WorkWhat makes a good team player? Here are my thoughts, in order of importance:
1) Help others get success
2) Respect others, treat everybody with courtesy
3) Open to learn
4) Be proactive, willing to step up and take lead
5) Challenge status quo, always look for better ways
6) Ownership, result focus
1) and 2) are the areas I need to improve on the most. It's not like I am bad in helping others or treat others in rude manner. But when pressure is on, it's so natural for me to focus on getting things done and 1) and 2) get slipped to the back seat.
Write this down to help remind myself. Months/years later, I can come back and see if I have imporved on these two. September 12 China bashing - shame on your, american mediaWhen I left from work today, CNN was playing a program discussing lead paint of toys made in China. I stood on the staircase and listened to the program for a few minutes, the program concluded with a survery question. I don't remember the exact wording, but here is what I recall:
"20 years after american toy companies shifted production to China, do you feel outrageous that China promised not to use lead paint on toys only recently"
OK, here is my answer: I do feel outrageous that american toy makers have not been doing any quality check w.r.t lead paint for 20 years. And, CNN, I feel a lot of shame on you for misleading the audience into China bashing.
Don't get me wrong, I do think it's a big shame that some toy makers in China used lead paint. But hold on for a moment, China is a developing capitalism. What do you expect if the big american toy companies don't have quality check in place and continuously apply downward price pressure to the manufacturer? As a sound human being one shouldn't do this kind of things by moral standard, but shouldn't you expect some bad apples from any country and plan for it? It's also important to remember that those lead paint toy were not only for export, as one would felt from this CNN question, those toys were sold to Chinese consumers as well. It's unfortunate that China, as a developing country, have not built a sound quality check process in place yet. But shouldn't you expect that from a developing country and take your own responsibility in making sure the product you are selling to consumers, under your own brand, are safe?
Again, China is still a developing country, a developing capitalism, that has a lot of things need to improve on. What did the developing capitalism USA ( and all other western countries for that matter ) do hundreds years ago? Should one feel outrageous that houndreds years after declaring all human beings are equal, american were still using slaves? I don't even need to mention that a lot of western countires' early capitalism development was attributed to robbing and colonizing the rest of the world. I have to say compared to those track record, China's development is much cleaner.
Shame on you, American media.
September 11 Passion, Patience and PerseveranceI never lacked passion, what I don't always have is patience and perseverance.
I was so obessesed in Golf in the recent couple weeks, really hoping to make a leap of progress on my game. The result, yes, I made good progress, but I was not enjoying the game as much as I could. I became so upset when I hit bad shots and almost broke my clubs several times. More importantly, I could'nt focus on other important things in my life, such as my family, my work and my application etc. The truth is Golf is not something one can improve by 10 shots in just a short period of time, it takes patience and perseverance, just as most of other important things in one's life.
I've heard people talking about learning things from playing golf, seems I am learning something from it too.
Here is what I am going to do tacticly:
1. practice or play golf three times a week, spend an additional 1-2 hours a week studying videos, lessons etc.
2. spend 10-20 minutes stretching my body to improve flexibility 3-5 times a week
3. be more patient with my progress, no club hitting after a bad shot, most important thing about golf: enjoy the game
4. no thinking of golf the rest of time, focusing on other priorities ( improve myself on my work, finish my applications by the end of Sept )
引用《荀子:劝学》节录以自勉:
积土成山，风雨兴焉；积水成渊，蛟龙生焉；积善成德，而神明自得，圣心备焉。故不积跬步，无以至千里；不积小流，无以成江海。骐骥一跃，不能十步；驽马十驾，功在不舍。锲而舍之，朽木不折；锲而不舍，金石可镂
For Golf and for anything else in my life
September 05 A lesson learned in soft skillsI had a lesson learned today.
I was talking to one of my direct report about a project. At the end of the conversation, I told him that to meet the project deadline, his work needs to be approved by our VP by next Tuesday, which means be approved by my manager this Friday, and I asked for him to finish the work and review with me this Thursday. There was nothing wrong in my statement, however, there could've been a better way of communicating it. I didn't even realize it till my direct report gave me the feedback that I was not being very respectful to him. He likened my statement to telling a kid to do X,Y by Z time.
I immediately realized that it was a very helpful and fair feedback. I thanked him and promised to improve my way of communication in the future. After the meeting, I was thinking more about this. One thing I tried to recall was how my previous manager communicated this type of request/timeline to me in the past. Then I started to realize there were only a handful of times that he directly told me "this needs to be done by X". Most often, what he did was ask me "when do you think you can get this done?", then when I gave an answer that didn't fit the overall project time line, he would ask me the sort of questions like "when do you think this needs to be reviewed by our VP in order to hit the project timeline?", and let me realize that my original timeline wouldn't work, and came up a new timeline myself. I never paid attention to this tactic till today, but now I realize that what he was doing was really making the other person feel more empowered by letting him/her make a "choice", albeit it's not really a choice per se.
One could argue that this is kind of hyporitical, but I actually see this as key component of one's soft skill and negotiation skill: Letting the other guys feel in control. Especially when working with junior colleagues, or direct reports, letting them make a choice would be viewed as respectful, while telling them what to do would be viewed as bossy, even though the short term outcome is the same, the long term impact on associate loyalty/moral is vastly different.
Thanks for the feedback. I need to watch out for more of these types of small things in the future. I know I am kind of dumb on Emotional Intelligence front, but hopefully with my openness to learn, and adaptiveness, I can become better and better on my soft skills.
August 27 Be a more disciplined personI am such an undisciplined person, to the extent that sometimes I hate myself.
Sometimes I could argue that it was because of my passion. When I am interested in something, I often devote all of my energy to it, be it reading a book, or practicing my golf. So it's natural that I wouldn't be able to keep up some of the other good habits, or commitments.
But sometimes there is no execuse. For example, I've been struggling with the problem of wasting too much time browsing chinese news forum for a long time. Once a while, I tried to limit my time spent on those things, but it always came back. For the last couple months, I think I've been wasting on average one hour every day reading non sense chinese news/rumors etc. It's indeed a shame that in my 2007 resolution there was one clause: " limit chinese news browsing time to 15 minutes every day ".
I've done reasonably well in my career so far. Given how undisciplined I was, I was probably quite lucky. I am quite sure if I don't become a more disciplined person, I won't be able to realize my fulll potential in my career and won't be able to get where I want to be 10 years from now.
So to start with, I am going to stop reading Chinese news in weekdays. I will keep track of this commitment and report it here on a monthly basis.
August 26 Making progress in GolfMy camcorder arrived last week, I am going to take it to the range this afternoon and shoot my swing.
2007 is 2/3 over, and I have not broken 100 in my golf, the hope of breaking 90, which is my most passionate goal in my 2007 new year resolution list, is diminishing very quickly. I am still hopeful of achieving my goal, at least getting closer to it, but realize I need to work harder/smarter if I want to get there. Thus I bought the camcorder.
I've made some good progress in the recent couple weeks though. I've learned that my setup stance was too upright. However, I thought the spine angle at setup should be the same for all different clubs till Pan mentioned that they should be different a couple days ago. I searched on internet and found very helpful information. Apparently, since the length of clubs vary a lot from the longest driver to the shortest wedge, one needs to make some adjustments on the setup posture. I found a good article in a forum that talked about different styles of making this adjustment, see the link:
I will go try out the Aaron Baddeley approach, which is varying spine angle for different clubs with different length. It feels to me this should fit well with my one plane swing.
Golf is such a complicated game although it looks so simple on the surface. I am still at the entry level trying to figure out what the right swing is, yet I've already learned so many intricacies in the past one year timeframe since I started the game. This would be a challenge for me for years to come. I know I am probably not physically strong enough to be really good on this, but I am confident that I can be reasonablly good at it. I will probably stop pursuing improving my golf when I get around 80s.
This is one of many things I need to achieve before I go back to China..... I am expecting numerous frustrations along the way.... :P August 23 In memory of JimingIn front:
I was deeply shocked and depressed by the news that one of my good/old friends/classmates died of auto accident in China. Shocking, depressing as it was, it was also eye opening for me. I never seriously realized that life is so fragile, and any of us could die any time. This accident just reminds me of the importance of treating myself well, treating those who I care well everyday. Jobs once said one should treat every day as if it was his/her last day. (Easy said than done though, for most people). How true......
八月九号晚上从朋友的来信中得到噩耗，心情久久的不能平静。从最初的震惊，到随后的悲痛，惋惜，伤感，真可谓百感交集。我悲痛于好友的早逝，他亲人之难以想象的悲伤。我惋惜于继民这年轻的出类拔萃的生命，居然就此而折。我伤感于生命的脆弱，每个人都为生活繁禄奔波，可又有多少是在我们掌握之中？
最近一次见到继民，是去年春天我回国探亲。我到杭州后一给电话，他马上就说要叫上几个老友出来叙旧。五年未见，生活好像没有在他身上留下多少痕迹，还是一样的瘦，还是一如既往的热情，机敏，充满活力。他驱车带我，章利群，羊振冈看杭州的夜景，到酒吧喝酒。那时他好像刚换了工作，从他的描述中，看得出来他对新的工作很有热情。我看到的是一个充满自信的俞继民。我也由衷地为他能找到适合他的舞台而高兴。几个高中老友之中，我一直都觉得他会最早出人头地，他的热情，活力，真诚待人让他朋友满天下，他的聪明远高于他读书成绩所示（虽然他已经成绩优秀），应付任何事业上的挑战绰绰有余。我总觉得他仿佛是为我们这个充满机会又略带点浮躁的社会量身订制。那时候，我想五年以后，他一定可以在事业上有个飞跃。他还高兴的告诉我，他就要做爸爸了。让我羡慕之余，不禁的感慨自己在朋友中落伍仿佛越来越多。
屈指往前算，和继民相识，居然快有二十年了。记得那时在镇中，我在一班，他在四班，本来以我一贯的不善交际，应该是无缘相识的。那时候我邻居两个兄弟，和他相熟，所以一来二往，居然也就认识了，不过我所记得的交往，仿佛仅仅限于我们有时忘了带某门课的课本，互相借书而已。真正的相熟，是在高中以后。记得新生报到的时候，所有同学中，好像只有他是认识的，于是做了高一的同桌。那时人小，玩兴未泯，老师上课讲的东西也简单，所以两个人在课堂上经常打打闹闹。终于有一次好象把毛文老师惹火了，具体缘由是记不得了，只记得他把继民拉出了座位，然后不久以后，我和他各自的同桌就是上课很认真的徐航和陈彤。
再往后，就是那一段难以忘怀的延续了十年的一起下四国，打牌，搓麻将的交往。从高一高二的周末，一直到我研究生毕业出国前的每个寒暑假，继民，沈锐，沈维阳，羊振冈，章利群和我总是会聚在一起打牌下棋。而聚会的地点，几乎无一例外的在继民的家中。记得那时候到他家门口的时候，总是战战兢兢，恐惧于他家门口可能出现的狼狗，往往是要等他或他家人出来拉住狼狗，才敢进门。那时候，在他家玩过通宵是家常便饭，我们打牌，抽烟，无拘无束的聊天，经常是到天蒙蒙亮，大家也精疲力竭，于是出门去吃碗馄饨，然后各自回家睡觉。对我来说，这段有点颓废，有点土但是纯朴的经历，这些老朋友，事隔多年以后，还是让我念念不忘，时时想重温。去年在富阳的时候，沈维阳也从宁波回来一聚，多年以后，我们又一起喝酒，打牌，感觉像是回到了当年。因为继民第二天要回杭州上班，我们散场在两点钟。没想到的是，这匆匆一别，竟成永诀！
生命脆弱，人世无常。朋友们，让我们为生活奔波之余，多多珍重。善待自己，善待自己所珍惜的人，不为生命留下遗憾。
万水千山相隔，欲送老友一程亦不可得，仅以这记忆中的零星片断，以资纪念。继民，走好。 To Start With .....I have not started writting blogs for several reasons:
1) I was never a diary writter, I've written very limitted number of diaries in my life.
2) I was never a good writter. I admire those people who can put out beautiful words that readers can enjoy, but I know I don't have that talent. ( More precisely, I should say that I really regret that I never paid attention to learning writting in middle and high school. Now that I understand the importance of that, however, it's too late... hehe )
3) I am a bit cynical on the idea of writting diary in public that any one can read. Are people just trying to show off, and write for the purpose of being read? that could be somewhat fullfilling to a lot of people, and honestly, I think I would feel good if other people come to read my post and like it. But if one writes words for the purpose of being read, and being liked, it seems to me impossible for any one not to polish or massage the words, or even distort the true feeling before writting it down.
However, lately I've begin to seriously consider the idea of starting writting my thoughts down, call it a blog, for convenience's sake. As I am getting older, I started to miss the old days more. However, when I look back, I realize I couldn't find a lot traces of my past. Sure, there are some, but not as much as I'd like. So I'd like to have my thoughts recorded along the way, so that 10 years later, I can look back, and recollect the memory. Writting it on paper? come on, I know I am no longer a high tech guy and am still using an old PC running Windows XP, but at lest I am much more efficient in typing keyboard than writting on paper.
I decide to just write down my random thoughts whenever they emerge, for myself, but not for others. I still don't have my problems 1,2,3 solved. I am less concerned on 1 and 2, anyway I am writting for myself, and writting more would only improve my writting skills. I don't think I can completely avoid the #3 dillema. I know I would have dark side of myself that I wouldn't want to write down in public, I also wouldn't want to write down some of my true feelings that could potentially hurt other people if they happen to read it. Well, I guess this is not a unique problem for me. So I am just not going to be too much concerned about it. My standard of choosing what to write is it needs to be meaningful to myself, especially years later, and not to write intentionally for the purpose of being read by others. To be fair , there is also potential upside of being read by others, it could enhance networking among friends.
So...... Let's give it a shot! I am excited...... |
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