I am such an undisciplined person, to the extent that sometimes I hate myself.

 

Sometimes I could argue that it was because of my passion. When I am interested in something, I often devote all of my energy to it, be it reading a book, or practicing my golf. So it's natural that I wouldn't be able to keep up some of the other good habits, or commitments.

 

But sometimes there is no execuse. For example, I've been struggling with the problem of wasting too much time browsing chinese news forum for a long time. Once a while, I tried to limit my time spent on those things, but it always came back.  For the last couple months, I think I've been wasting on average one hour every day reading non sense chinese news/rumors etc. It's indeed a shame that in my 2007 resolution there was one clause: " limit chinese news browsing time to 15 minutes every day ".

 

I've done reasonably well in my career so far. Given how undisciplined I was, I was probably quite lucky. I am quite sure if I don't become a more disciplined person, I won't be able to realize my fulll potential in my career and won't be able to get where I want to be 10 years from now.

 

So to start with, I am going to stop reading Chinese news in weekdays. I will keep track of this commitment and report it here on a monthly basis.

 

 

My camcorder arrived last week, I am going to take it to the range this afternoon and shoot my swing.

 

2007 is 2/3 over, and I have not broken 100 in my golf, the hope of breaking 90, which is my most passionate goal in my 2007 new year resolution list, is diminishing very quickly.  I am still hopeful of achieving my goal, at least getting closer to it, but realize I need to work harder/smarter if I want to get there. Thus I bought the camcorder.

 

I've made some good progress in the recent couple weeks though. I've learned that my setup stance was too upright. However, I thought the spine angle at setup should be the same for all different clubs till Pan mentioned that they should be different a couple days ago. I searched on internet and found very helpful information. Apparently, since the length of clubs vary a lot from the longest driver to the shortest wedge, one needs to make some adjustments on the setup posture. I found a good article in a forum that talked about different styles of making this adjustment, see the link:

http://www.golfwrx.com/forums/index.php?act=Print&client=printer&f=6&t=72724 

I will go try out the Aaron Baddeley approach, which is varying spine angle for different clubs with different length. It feels to me this should fit well with my one plane swing.

 

Golf is such a complicated game although it looks so simple on the surface. I am still at the entry level trying to figure out what the right swing is, yet I've already learned so many intricacies in the past one year timeframe since I started the game. This would be a challenge for me for years to come. I know I am probably not physically strong enough to be really good on this, but I am confident that I can be reasonablly good at it. I will probably stop pursuing improving my golf when I get around 80s.

 

This is one of many things I need to achieve before I go back to China..... I am expecting numerous frustrations along the way.... :P

 

In front:

 

I was deeply shocked and depressed by the news that one of my good/old friends/classmates died of auto accident in China. Shocking, depressing as it was, it was also eye opening for me. I never seriously realized that life is so fragile, and any of us could die any time. This accident just reminds me of the importance of treating myself well, treating those who I care well everyday. Jobs once said one should treat every day as if it was his/her last day. (Easy said than done though, for most people). How true...... 

 

 

I have not started writting blogs for several reasons:

 

1) I was never a diary writter, I've written very limitted number of diaries in my life.

2) I was never a good writter. I admire those people who can put out beautiful words that readers can enjoy, but I know I don't have that talent. ( More precisely, I should say that I really regret that I never paid attention to learning writting in middle and high school. Now that I understand the importance of that, however, it's too late... hehe )

3) I am a bit cynical on the idea of writting diary in public that any one can read. Are people just trying to show off, and write for the purpose of being read? that could be somewhat fullfilling to a lot of people, and honestly, I think I would feel good if other people come to read my post and like it. But if one writes words for the purpose of being read, and being liked, it seems to me impossible for any one not to polish or massage the words, or even distort the true feeling before writting it down.

 

However, lately I've begin to seriously consider the idea of starting writting my thoughts down, call it a blog, for convenience's sake. As I am getting older, I started to miss the old days more. However, when I look back, I realize I couldn't find a lot traces of my past. Sure, there are some, but not as much as I'd like. So I'd like to have my thoughts recorded along the way, so that 10 years later, I can look back, and recollect the memory. Writting it on paper? come on, I know I am no longer a high tech guy and am still using an old PC running Windows XP, but at lest I am much more efficient in typing keyboard than writting on paper.

 

I decide to just write down my random thoughts whenever they emerge, for myself, but not for others. I still don't have my problems 1,2,3 solved. I am less concerned on 1 and 2, anyway I am writting for myself, and writting more would only improve my writting skills. I don't think I can completely avoid the #3 dillema. I know I would have dark side of myself that I wouldn't want to write down in public, I also wouldn't want to write down some of my true feelings that could potentially hurt other people if they happen to read it. Well, I guess this is not a unique problem for me. So I am just not going to be too much concerned about it. My standard of choosing what to write is it needs to be meaningful to myself, especially years later, and not to write intentionally for the purpose of being read by others. To be fair , there is also potential upside of being read by others, it could enhance networking among friends.

 

So...... Let's give it a shot! I am excited......